Nuggets of wisdom and wit from a kindly old mystic cloistered in
a fire proof building on the Cuyahoga.

My beloved friend Arthur has gone to be with God, may his trip be an easy one.
Arthur, I expect submissions to Nuggets, and I'll accept no excuses. Joe De Matteo

HERE’S A LITTLE SOMETHING T0 CRANK YOUR BRAIN.
ARTHUR

Thinking outside the box

DILEMMA

     You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

     Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

     Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

     The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

     Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

     However, the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for some beers.
 

At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "Service -- The act of doing things for other people."

Then I heard these terms: Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service, Telephone Service, Civil Service, City/County Public Service, Customer Service, Service Stations, and I became confused about the word "service."

This is not what I thought "service" meant.

Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one said he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows. BAM! It all came into perspective.

Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us. I hope you are now as enlightened as I am.

The Dash

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
(1934-1998)

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth..
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars...the house...the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard....
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash
May last only a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

 

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